Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Motherhood Is Messy


This past week was rough, if I'm being honest. There was a lot of sadness in the world that was weighing heavy on my heart. My feelings got hurt and I was hanging on to some negative stuff a bit too long and with too tight of a grip. One kid came home from school with pinkeye and another with a terrible cold and within 24 hours it had spread through the entire house. We all ended up crabby and achy, and stuck inside our small home filled to the brim with Christmas crap for three solid days. The cabin fever and short fuses were visible, mainly from this mom who was so goddamn tired of entertaining bored daughters and breaking up arguments about who got the biggest candy cane and constantly keeping the baby from pulling the kitten up by her tail.

Since I was officially diagnosed with perimenopause last spring, my body has been doing some funky shit and putting me through the wringer. From morning sickness nausea to gingivitis, horrible heartburn to my hair falling out in clumps, it isn't pretty. A routine yearly well-woman checkup at my doctor last week ended with a sudden surgical procedure to repair a significant tear that was somehow missed during/after Arlo's birth. Yes, a birth that happened nearly two years ago and a tear that had healed in a large growth of scar tissue that had to be CUT OFF MY VULVA, in which afterward my vagina had to be stuffed with gauze for several hours. To add insult to injury, I COULDN'T HAVE SEX FOR A WEEK.

While I realized at a young age that my body was a political vessel I could use for my social activism and art, it was becoming a mother that really changed my relationship to myself and helped launch me on my body positive journey. The physical changes that come with pregnancy and motherhood are extreme - from stretch marks, swollen-turned-sagging breasts, dry skin, hormonal breakouts, lush hair and losing hair, extreme weight gain and loss, backaches, heartburn, pelvis bones shifting, and your heart growing too big to be contained. Not to mention the emotional and mental roller coaster of joy, fear, exhaustion, worry, excitement, concern, ignorance, and love. Creating and growing three babies was miraculous and significant in my life journey, as was miscarrying two more. Becoming a mother really solidified for me that I wanted to choose life - and live the best and happiest version of one starting right now. All my perceived imperfections are like a roadmap to this journey of mine and I love this body and the stories it tells. Even if those stories include dried snot stains on my ragged pjs and messy bathrooms with tampon boxes and bottles of bubbles and clothes tossed on the floor and a naked toddler hiding behind my thick legs that carried him into this world.

14 comments:

  1. "It isn't pretty" and yet you remind us to dig deep into our hearts and find somehow to be brave enough, to be thankful for every moment. ♡ Thank you for the reminder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dating for everyone is here: ❤❤❤ Link 1 ❤❤❤


      Direct sexchat: ❤❤❤ Link 2 ❤❤❤

      0B.

      Delete
  2. Thank you, I needed to hear this today, to be reminded I'm not the only Mama going through yuck right now. Second hospital stay in 3 weeks and absolutely no sex for another week or two. But trust me neither of us are in a hurry . I just need to adjust to my temporary ileotsomy and the rest will follow. Let's not even talk about underwear, the nurses are holding mine hostage.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Omg...had no idea! I hope you heal up quickly. You are one strong, brave woman. Thanks for sharing and for the reminder to be grateful for every moment...even the messy ones. ❤

    ReplyDelete
  4. Omg...had no idea! I hope you heal up quickly. You are one strong, brave woman. Thanks for sharing and for the reminder to be grateful for every moment...even the messy ones. ❤

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is a great inspiring article.I am pretty much pleased with your good work.You put really very helpful information. Keep it up. Keep blogging. Looking to reading your next post. Feel free to visit my website; 카지노사이트링크

    ReplyDelete
  6. https://gamebegin.xyz You are able to training alone. A pitching device lets you establish the speed of the golf ball. By launching several baseballs to the equipment, you may training reaching without having a pitcher. This electronic unit is good for those who wish to exercise baseball alone. Pitching machines may be gathered at your nearby wearing products retail store.

    ReplyDelete
  7. https://gameeffect.xyz A lot of people have loved the game of baseball for years. There are fans around the world, from committed little-leaguers to perish-tough spectators. This information has ways to demonstrate how pleasant baseball really is.

    ReplyDelete
  8. https://gameboot.xyz You see them on mags and so on Television set, people who appear to be their arms and legs will explode as their muscles are extremely massive! There is not any need to have so that you can consider your system for that levels in the event you don't desire to, as being the easy strategies in the following paragraphs will help you develop muscle mass in the healthy manner.

    ReplyDelete
  9. https://gamezoom.xyz Finding a exercise routine partner can significantly enhance your muscle mass-constructing effects. Your partner can be a valuable supply of enthusiasm for sticking to your exercise routine period, and driving you to increase your initiatives when you workout. Developing a reputable spouse to work out with can also help keep you risk-free as you will always have got a spotter.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I’ve a project that I am just now working on, and I have been on the look out for such information. 파친코

    ReplyDelete